First Hollow Point Flick News

So, what the fuck is the point of having a film production... organization... without any films, at least in production? There is none! So, I would like to announce the first film that will be popping out of Hollow Point like a screaming demon out of a hot virgin's twat -- unfortunately, it is untitled. Currently the script is called "The Date" but this will be changed, as the title does, in fact, suck more ass than a Thai hooker on speed.

Here's the sypnosis: A teen girl in her Junior year of high school meets this great guy, who quickly asks her out, much to her pleasure, and decides to pick her up at her house on Friday night. This he does, he talks to her parents, they all make nice, and the two head out. Of course, much to their surprise, when a stranger appears in the middle of the road, both are knocked unconsious and soon the girl's life is on the line as she runs through the woods from the stranger.

The flick will be shot on a shoddy little Canon ZR60 sometime between October and January. It will be used as promotion for other films so we can raise enough money to obtain a better camera and afford props and effects to do some better stuff.

Snakes on a Plane Review

Allow me to be frank, I had very high expectations for Snakes on a Plane. I expected a cheesy parody of a '70s disaster flick, complete with bad acting and absurd one-liners. It seemed as if I would be right too, considering the title of the film, but I was atleast half wrong. The acting in the film was great, the one-liners, while a little off at times, weren't too absurd and were few and far between.

Before I go deeper, let's go over THAT MOTHERFUCKIN' PLOT! This already-classic bit o' cinema starts off in sunny Hawaii, and it already smells of a horror movie. The nice tits on those two bikini-clad babes was a major reason for that. Anywho, we meet Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips), a surfer riding his motorcycle through the beautiful island when he accidentally witness the murder of a procesutor at the hands of sadistic criminal Eddie Kim (Bryon Lawson). Sean flees the scene unscathed, but with the help of a left-behind Red Bull, Eddie's men quickly find and try to kill Sean--only to be stopped by the baddest motherfucker around, Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson), an FBI agent who's mighty handy with a gun. Flynn convinces Sean that he must go to L.A. to act as witness against Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson), and so they make their jolly way to the airport, where they board a commercial airliner heading for LA, taking over first class, and pushing all of the red eye passengers together into coach, ready to be snake bait.You can figure out the rest.

First off, let me make a few comments on the acting; it was all great, there wasn't a single actor who was below average, despite the large cast, but I have a few notable cases. Julliana Margulies, who plays Claire Miller, a stewardess who is making one last round before packing it up to become a lawyer (I know, it made me sigh too.) is actually very satisfying. I usually don't care for female parts and the actresses who play them, as they are usually the weakest links of the film, but in this case she turned out to be one of the most well-played characters. Next up is Byron Lawson as Eddie Kim, whose lack of sceneage just pissed me off, as he fucking ruled every little scene he was in. That fucker was sadistic and brutal, and he made us know it. Plus he's ripped as hell. Finally, Sam "Hold Onto Your Butts" Jackson did a phenomenal job, though I don't think I really need to tell you that. He delivered his lines and he kicked ass like the old days. I'd go further, but I'd like to finish this review. *---Edit: I take back my comment, upon viewing the film again, I will note that Nathan Phillips WAS below average for most of the film, I guess I was just too damn excited about those MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES!---*

Now, onto what I'm sure everyone wants to hear about, those motherfuckin' snakes! Well, you see, they kick ass, plain and simple. It is true that the cgi is sometime below-par, but I can't say it hurt the film, as everyone going in probably, like I did, expects pure cheese. Luckily, there are plenty of real snakes as well, a count of 450 I'm told, including a kickass 22-foot long Burmese python, called Kong in the script (figure out why), who can take quite a bite. The deaths caused by said snakes (and a chick's heel, but I'll let you see that for yourself)are mostly either creative or brutal, with only a few downers, and some pretty funny ones (including snake vs "snake" that had me laughing my ass off). Overall, much better than most slasher movie kills.

Now, the film overall. I have no real complaints about it, though it was a little obvious that the long-awaited Sam Jackson line regarding our slithering friends was added in later, it only managed to poke at my OCD side, and the casting of David Koechner as one of the pilots kept making me want to stand up and say "Whammy!", but that's about the extent. Yes, there are some very stereotypical characters, but the way they are used only adds to the humor of the film. Hell, the I-Stayed-Past-Retirement-And-Now-I'll-Probably-Die stewardess (played by the excellent Lin Shaye) manages to add a good bit of emotion to the film and some humor along the way. There are some surprising gay jokes, and a great little add-on, a sex/drug hybrid scene that tells you right away who will die first. I was actually able to pick it out before-hand. A very surprising popcorn-flick, with plenty of real humor and emotional tid bits as well as actual home-made tension, gets Snakes on a Plane four Paranoid Perrys* out of five.

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EDIT: NEW SCORE SYSTEM

Directing: 9/10
Script: 8/10
Story: 8/10
Acting: 7/10
Scare Factor: 7/10

FINAL SCORE: 39/50
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*The little guy getting his brains blown out in the banner. Hey, it's better than those fucking cliché stars.